Chapter 2645 Extra: Write You the Last Letter

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This is a letter you will never see because it is written in my heart.

Now I am standing on the high platform of Longmenguan, looking at the sky filled with gunpowder smoke, and I can't help but think about how great it would be if I could see you again.

Because I am about to travel to Wanli Gorge, and my life is probably about to end...

I'm sorry Qing'er, I still can't accompany you through the whole life, hold your and Nian'an's hands and watch him grow up.

In fact, I want to do this more than anyone else, but no one gives me this chance.

No, maybe I should say... God didn't give me this opportunity.

When I switched identities with the mute slave, I almost didn't dare to look into your eyes.

Because I find that your eyes are on me from time to time, like a hot light, burning me.

I don't dare to look at you, I'm afraid that if I look into your eyes, I won't be able to help telling you everything.

I don't dare to touch you. I'm afraid that at that moment, I will hold your hand behind my back and put it tightly on my chest.

And even if I am like this, I still want to stay by your side shamelessly.

Perhaps even the laughing palace maid would say: Look! The eunuch and the queen are together.

I think I am not afraid as long as you are by my side. The soul is different from the body. It is the depth of perception of everything. I also know that you understand.

But I know I can't do this. I can be the target of public criticism, and I can be damned, but you can't.

The days I want to give you should be when I go to morning service every day, I look at you sleeping soundly and kiss your forehead.

Then when you come back in the morning, if you wake up, I will have breakfast with you. If you don't wake up, I will bring the memorial to the room and look at you one more time.

At noon, we can go to the Imperial Garden to enjoy the flowers together. If you want to leave the palace, I can accompany you.

Don't be afraid of danger, because I can protect you enough.

You can sing over wine in the evening. Although I say it’s not good for girls to drink, you are allowed to have a small glass because you look particularly good-looking with your blushing face...

From morning to night, it may be exciting or dull.

As long as you are by my side, I want to spend the rest of my life together.

It's a pity, Qing'er... I don't have a chance.

I don’t know if you are doing well now, or if the mute slave has revealed the identity swap between us.

But I still deeply remember the day we walked through Beihan Palace again.

The look in your eyes that doesn’t want me to leave Beihan Palace, the way you hesitate to speak, and the emotions you can’t even touch.

I know, I know everything...

Because the person standing in front of you is Du Jiu Sheng, you will have so many emotions.

So you will be uneasy, you will not be afraid, you will be reluctant to give up...

Do you know when I almost couldn't help but tell the truth?

It’s what you said: Why are your handwriting so similar to Brother Jiu Sheng’s?

Silly girl, I've already written something crooked and you still think it's similar, what on earth are you thinking in your little head?

God knows how much I wanted to touch your head, hold you, hold you again, and hold you again at that moment.

But I can no longer say I love you.

Because I can't say it anymore.

At this moment, facing the impending death, I closed my eyes and prayed sincerely.

If, if, if...

If there is another life, if we can meet again. Please don't take away my memory, let me remember her forever.

Then in the next life, you will be able to recognize her at first sight.