Chapter 237 Gap

At midnight, the streets became lively.

The fat reindeer pulled the fat Santa Claus, his curly and knotty beard like instant noodles trembled with laughter, and he turned around and took out woolen socks filled with small gifts from the sack and threw them to both sides of the street.

"Hey!"

Kevin waved his hand and easily snatched the gift thrown to him from a little boy who was standing on tiptoe to catch the socks.

The little boy was stunned for two seconds, and then cried out "wow".

Kevin laughed wildly while holding Mei's hand and running away quickly.

Both of them were adults, and soon left the children behind. During the intense exercise, Mei began to cough violently, probably because she was out of breath.

Kevin supported her like this, standing under the street light, and gently patted her back.

"Really, you are so old, and you still fight with children for gifts."

Mei's tone was a little helpless, and she couldn't help laughing.

"A man stays young until he dies!"

Kevin smiled and turned his woolen socks upside down, from which a bag of brown sugar gingerbread fell out.

"Here, just right, one for you and one for me."

Kevin unwrapped the oil paper wrapped around the gingerbread, took out one first, and placed it in front of Mei.

Under the dim street lights, Mei's cheeks were reddened by the cold wind. She shrank her neck, did not stretch out her hand, and took the biscuit from Kevin.

The biscuit was probably made by the Santa Claus who was cosplaying, and it was only the size of two coins. Kevin's thumb and index finger pinched the place quite forward, whether intentionally or unintentionally, so even if Mei was careful, it was difficult not to touch Kevin's fingers with her lips.

However, compared to this plain and beautiful world, this little ambiguity was just a bonus.

Kevin felt that he should have laughed loudly, but for some reason, his mouth was grinning, but his vocal cords seemed to be clenched and he could not make a sound.

A few white dots suddenly appeared in his eyes, and snowflakes were floating in the night sky.

Three or two snowflakes fell on Mei's head, and he gently brushed them off.

But suddenly, his movements froze.

Mei turned her head and looked in the direction of his gaze, only to see that a nun had appeared behind her.

She looked at the two of them with pity, and even in such a cold winter night, her clothes were still thin.

She didn't say much, turned her lifeless eyes to Kevin, and then chuckled twice, turned around, and her back gradually merged into the darkness.

"Aponia..."

Kevin whispered the nun's name.

He couldn't tell, this Aponia... was it the one he knew? What did she mean? Implying that he should go with her?

Leave here with her?

How could it be possible...

"Do you know her?"

Mei asked softly.

Kevin nodded, then shook his head.

"Let's go, we'll be home soon."

…………

Mikael slumped in a chair, crossed his legs, stroking the stubble on his chin, and quietly looked at Sakura and Kevin in the ward behind him through a layer of glass.

The two had no injuries on their bodies, but they were still hung with a bottle, but it was just nutrient solution.

After a while, noticing that Abonya beside him opened his eyes, Mikael turned his head and asked worriedly:

"Failed?"

"How should I say..."

Abonya pursed her lips, "Both of them...actually, more or less realized that they were in a dream."

"Can't wake up?"

Mikael raised his eyebrows.

"I'm afraid...I don't want to wake up."

Mikael stood up silently without saying a word and walked into the ward.

He came to Sakura's bed first. To be honest, Sakura was the only one whose workload increased instead of decreased after Anti-Entropy was merged into the Fire Chaser Moth (the other one was Vivi), and Mikael hadn't paid so much attention to her for a long time.

It seemed that since she took over those so-called "dirty jobs", the lines of their fate began to disengage. Although they had been parallel, and occasionally turned around, as if they were about to intersect again, it was not until afterwards that they realized that they were just approaching each other, and suddenly they were far away again.

Mikael couldn't help but think of the last time such a situation happened, which was many years ago in Lulu...

It turned out that so many years had passed. Mikael smiled at Ying and clenched his right hand unconsciously.

Ying's face was extremely relaxed, and there was even a smile on the corner of her mouth, which suddenly gave Mikael a strange idea-it seemed that it would be good to let them rest for a while...

Even if that happiness only came from an illusory dream.

He walked to Kevin again.

Compared with Ying, his expression did not seem so relaxed.

Aponia watched all this quietly in the corner, as if she knew Mikael's question in advance, and answered softly:

"Compared to Sakura, Kevin realized it earlier... and was more awake."

"..."

Mikael sighed softly, and the meaning was obvious - even you don't want to wake up?

Regarding the memory of the eighth collapse in the original timeline, he didn't remember whether Sakura was addicted to this dream, but obviously Kevin didn't.

He remembered what Ellie said: "I always feel that you are actually the one among us... who is most likely to be trapped in a dream?"

But my brother Kevin... why can't you wake up now...

Mikael clenched his fists suddenly.

"Actually, this is normal."

Aponia said with relief.

"That's what dreams are like, they always obey the deepest desires of human beings. When these things that cannot be obtained in reality are easily obtained in dreams, even if you realize that this is a dream, it is difficult to give up... …”

"..."

Indeed, whether you will indulge in a dream may have nothing to do with maturity or vulnerability. The key point is whether you have obsessions and whether the obsessions are deep.

And Sakura and Kevin, in a sense... no, which warrior doesn't have deep obsessions.

If we didn't have that obsession, why would we fight?

Mikael was silent for a moment, and suddenly asked curiously: "Aponya, maybe it's not a good thing to explore other people's privacy, but I still want to ask - Kevin and Sakura, what are their wishes?"

"Well... it's not a good thing to spread other people's privacy, so I won't tell you the specific dream. What's more... their wishes are exactly the same, so simple that it makes people feel incredible..."

"What?"

"A world without collapse."

"...Can you force them to wake up?"

This time it was Aponya who sighed, "Mikael, you should know very well that I can do it, but you also have to think clearly, do you need me to do this now?"

Mikael turned around and faced the door of the ward without making a sound.

After all, the spirit is something that human civilization has not yet been able to thoroughly study... No, it cannot even be said that research has been carried out. If humans can still use the original scientific system to explain other aspects involving the collapse, then when it comes to the spirit and soul Regarding the issue, although human beings have some authority, they still know nothing about themselves.

Even Aponia is the same.

Therefore, she can indeed drag Kevin and Sakura directly out of the dream, but how to describe that kind of behavior...

It's like a person's car flipped into a ditch. In order to save him, you rushed to open the door and pulled him out. His legs were stuck in the car, but you kept pulling to save him and finally pulled him out. But half of the leg remained in the car.

This was different from Mikael's time. Mikael's own consciousness had already awakened, and the others only played a supporting role.

But at this moment...Aponya herself was not sure whether forced awakening would cause such trauma. Forget about ordinary people, for fusion warriors like Kevin and Sakura, their spirits are inherently tougher than ordinary people, and they are more likely to struggle and cause damage.

And due to the dangers of the fusion warrior itself, once the spirit is damaged, it is likely that the gain will outweigh the loss. This has been confirmed by Mikael.

"It doesn't matter, I just need to know that you can do this."

After leaving these words behind, Mikael began to walk out of the ward. The moment he turned the door handle, he suddenly looked back at Aponya:

"Apponia, do you...know the original fate of the two of them?"

Aponya shook his head, "When I saw them, their fate had already experienced your interference, so naturally I can't say that the earliest version of their fate I saw was their original appearance."

When she finished saying this, she realized that Mikael had already left.

…

Mikael touched his head and felt that things were a bit ironic.

What Kevin could do in history, he can't do now, and the culprit for this phenomenon is, to some extent, Mikael himself.

Because originally Kevin's growth can be roughly divided into four nodes. The first two times were the third Honkai, when he joined the Fire Chaser as a soldier, and then the sixth and seventh Honkai, when he implicated an entire commercial street of humans because of his hesitation, and in order to fight against This hesitation led to him killing his comrades without hesitation.

No one can become an adult overnight. The so-called growth is all based on unforgettable pain. And for Kevin now, half of the biggest blow he should have suffered so far has been borne by Mikael. , the other half was changed and didn't happen.

So what Kevin can do, he can't do now.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing...Mikael thought silently.

"Let's think of it as a good thing. Growth is not a forced thing... If I can do no worse than him, wouldn't it be good to let him always be a sunny boy like this?"

"Click——"

The mechanical door slid open to both sides. Mikael went out and turned left, leaning his back against the wall.

"Mei hasn't come yet?"

He tried to speak in a gentle tone.

"Hey... who knows what she was thinking. Kevin is already like this. She just sent a message. She heard that Kevin is just falling asleep now, so she is not too worried."

Ellie tilted her head and spread her hands.

"Maybe she has more important things to do."

This is not just something Mikael said casually. Mei is currently busy with more and more things. One plan after another, one edition after another. In order to cope with the large amount of work, she even formulated Prometheus. Upgrade plan... which will obviously make her busier in a short time. Therefore, she did not have much involvement in De Moana Chino's actions this time, and Mikael was entirely responsible.

Perhaps...this is Mei's absolute rationality.

Now Mikael feels it.

If I had to say it, I still feel a little guilty, after all, her boyfriend became like this during the actions he directed.

But Mikael didn't show it. Since the incident two years ago, he rarely showed his emotions anymore - maybe May would also think that this is Mikael's rationality.

Wearing a mask is indeed tiring. Perhaps the only good thing is that at least in front of some people, he can lift up a corner of the mask and take a breath.

But when he turned to look at Alicia, he found that she was a little too silent today.

He stared blankly at Alicia's side face until the other person embarrassedly lifted her hair from her temples and covered her expression with her hands.

"Stop looking at people like that!"

"Ellie, you..."

Alicia took a deep breath and interrupted him:

"Maybe... I should say sorry to you."

"Well?"

Mikael was stunned for a moment, and then he came up with the excuse he had already thought of to excuse her:

"It's enough that you killed Mo Yuli. Facing a Herrscher and an Emperor-level Honkai Beast, their abilities are all aimed at the mental aspect. It's not easy to kill one and injure the other."

"I know this... I just want to say sorry to you..."

She suddenly boldly took Mikael's arm - although the two had reconciled in some way a long time ago, Mikael still couldn't get rid of the guilt when facing her, let alone getting close, and later As Mikael put on the mask himself, this kind of intimate gesture was really the first time in two years.

Mikael's body was a little stiff, but he was more confused——

"I'm sorry? You don't need to tell me this..."

He really couldn't think of anything that Ellie could do to apologize to him.

Ellie was silent for a while, and then she mustered up the courage to confess:

"The Eighth Herrscher...she may not be...I can't tell whether I was really attacked mentally by her and missed the opportunity to kill her, or...it was just because of me... My own hesitation..."

"No, I don't think so."

Mikael thought she was blaming herself for failing to kill the Eighth Herrscher. Although this incident was a bit unexpected, it was indeed reasonable.

Although in Mikael's memory, the Eighth Herrscher was a scumbag who was good for nothing but making people dream... After Su found out his hiding place, Su, as a fusion warrior with mental perception not suitable for frontal combat, could easily kill him. Of course, the worst thing about her was that she was the only Herrscher captured alive.

But since Mikael's existence has changed so much, and even the Seventh Honkai Impact has been completely changed, it is not a surprising event that the Eighth Herrscher's close combat ability has been strengthened.

But... obviously, Alicia didn't actually mean this.

"No...Mikael, don't speak yet."

Ellie put her entire body weight on her, and finally tilted her head and rested it on Mikael's shoulder. Mikael also bent his knees in time to make her pillow more comfortable.

"If I didn't hold back at all, the Eighth Herrscher would never escape from my eyes. But I couldn't tell myself whether my hesitation at that moment was really my own hesitation or the Eighth Herrscher's. A mental attack...Of course, from the perspective of a third party, the latter is more like a way for me to shirk responsibility."

Speaking of this, how could Mikael still not understand what she meant?

But before he could say anything, Ai Li got in front of him again:

"Mikael, do you still remember the conversation I had with you before the second collapse began?"

Over the past twelve years, there have been countless conversations between the two people, but Mikael quickly found the passage that Alicia wanted to express among the complicated memories——

"If... if this is the second collapse, don't you have anything to say?

"Hey! What's with that eager expression of yours?"

"Hmm? Can't you guess this! Of course I want to wake up this guy too! Just like I woke you up back then!"

Mikael sighed, he knew this was the case.

"I want to apologize to you because... before I faced it, I never imagined that killing a Herrscher with human consciousness would be so psychologically painful - after all, they look just like humans. Just like us... Then, I will keep reminding myself in my heart that there may be a way to save them... I'm sorry, I didn't expect you to face this... especially when you faced Xi'er... …”

"It's really a headache..."

Ellie's arms tightened, and Mikael could feel his elbow sinking into the softness. He didn't know if Ellie noticed it, but at least as far as he was concerned, that charming thought had just arisen. Was snuffed out.

Only then did he realize that when it came to the Herrscher, due to the so-called information gap, he, Ai Li, and others had completely different mentality when facing the Herrscher.

For himself, because he has long known that the Herrschers of pre-civilizations cannot have human nature, so unless the person who becomes the Herrscher is an acquaintance of his, he will not have much psychological burden when he kills someone.

But for others...

A hunter may be able to easily kill prey, and a butcher may be able to easily kill livestock, but if they were to turn their force against humans, at least half of them would not be able to do so without any hesitation.

For Alicia, it means more - she is also a Herrscher...

Instead of being forgotten as one Herrscher was defeated one after another, this reality became increasingly clear.

Whether it is the original Ai Li or the current Ai Li, they have always had an obsession with the fantasy of "the Herrscher regaining his humanity" that ordinary people cannot understand.

It's just that there are huge differences due to different growth experiences.

For the original Ellie, she had neither a core nor power. She didn't know whether she was a Herrscher, a human, or a Honkaimon. For a long time, she only knew that she was different, but she didn't know the specific reason. .

What's more, reality won't give her a reason to think. She must have been filled with fear as she watched beings similar to herself being killed by humans one after another, even by herself. And fear is not negative to her, it even promotes her growth.

When she later found out that Kevin suffered from mental illness because of killing Himihu, she chose to quietly perform super-changing surgery alone (although it was not confirmed whether she actually performed super-changing surgery), not out of "competitiveness", but because of her relationship with him. Later, Mei's choices were similar - she wanted to have more power so that other humans she cared about wouldn't have to face that choice.

As for awakening the Herrscher's humanity, although she never gave up hope, because there was no precedent, the final outcome only brought her disappointment.

Ellie, who was nestling next to Mikael, was just the opposite. The first "same kind" she came into contact with successfully regained her humanity, so that she felt from the beginning that it might not be easy for the Herrscher to also fight for humanity, but it was not impossible. .

Because he had too high expectations at the beginning, he was more likely to be hit, especially when facing a Herrscher who seemed to have human consciousness.

Now it's just because of someone's interference that her hesitation that should have erupted and overcome during the sixth collapse has been delayed until now.

"..."

Mikael lowered his head and remained silent. In fact, from a short-term perspective, it was very simple to make her think more clearly. Mikael only needed to tell her some truths. For example, the Herrschers in this world did not find her under normal circumstances. A chance to return to humanity...

Since this possibility did not exist from the beginning, I should feel better...

Yes, the so-called sadness is just caused by the huge gap between reality and illusion.

It's like buying a lottery ticket. On the day of the lottery, none of the numbers match up. All the previous numbers match up except for the last one. The feeling of disparity is completely different.

"Ellie, actually I haven't told you one thing..."

Mikael naturally put his hand through her back and put it on her waist.

He was thinking about how to say all that, because if he wanted to explain that "it is impossible for Herrschers in the modern era to regain their humanity", he had to explain how Mikael learned about it.

Should he blame everything on Apponia again, or should he tell the whole truth with the same determination as the night that was interrupted two years ago?

If you calculate carefully, time is running out...

Mikael made a decision.

"Actually, I..."

"Good evening! Ellie, Mikael."

The sudden greeting interrupted what Mikael was about to blurt out, and the two couldn't help but distance themselves slightly... After all, they are no longer at that age where they think about showing affection in front of others all day long, and there is no need for it anymore.

But Mikael still held her hand, just like he did in childhood games, and gently wrote something on her palm with his index finger.

"Oh my good Eden, you really know how to choose the right time to come!"

Ellie stretched out her right hand to hold Eden, and also pulled her to her side, completely hugging her from one side to the other.

Mikael glanced at Eden, who seemed to look a little haggard. It seemed that since her last concert two years ago, she had only been in two states: drunk Eden, and Eden who is not drunk.

Eden rarely answered Ellie's words. She shook her head:

"Ellie, I'm just here to change your shift."

"Shift change? What do you mean?"

Before Ellie could be surprised, Mikael's communication sounded first, and Mei's profile picture lit up on the projection screen.

"Gather right now? The second laboratory, that's not from the Fifth Science Department...Aponya is going too? Okay, we'll be there soon."