Chapter 74: Spewing Shit

Er Gouzi left the black market and followed Sima Yi to Hongyan Tower. It was indeed very lively here today, and the whole restaurant was decorated with lights and colorful decorations.

The whole street outside the hotel was already crowded with beggars who had reserved seats in advance.

On a happy day, a porridge stall was set up outside Hongyan Tower for the first time.

Mix all kinds of scraps and waste from the store with swill and cook them into a big pot of porridge. The beggars were excited to eat a piece of pork in the porridge occasionally.

At the door of Hongyan Tower, two young servants in blue clothes guarded the entrance.

When they saw a noble master with status, they greeted him with a smile and bent over to lead him in.

Those without status and position had to check the invitation and the gifts they sent.

Being able to attend the county magistrate's birthday banquet is a supreme honor, and not everyone is qualified to enter.

As for people like Er Gouzi, whose skin is tanned and whose clothes are rough, they were directly driven away.

Letting such a person stand at the door for a while longer is an insult to the dignitaries in Hongyan Building.

However, today they can only watch Er Gouzi walk in front of them, not daring to stop him, and have to bow and nod.

Every corner of the first floor of Hongyan Building is crowded with guests. They whisper to each other, look at everyone who comes in, and look for some people to curry favor with.

Seeing Sima Yi come in, many people's eyes light up and want to curry favor with him, but soon give up this plan.

Sima Yi doesn't like dealing with people like them the most. Currying with him at this time will only make him feel bored.

I'm just a little curious about the farmer following Sima Yi. Why do they have such a good relationship?

Of course, Er Gouzi still has many people who can recognize him because of his outstanding performance in the Wu Xiucai exam.

The two passed the lobby on the first floor and went directly to the second floor from the stairs.

The people on this floor have some status and are not so crowded and noisy.

But the look they gave Sima Yi was even more scorching.

Because they all knew that they would never be able to climb up in this life, and they could not walk to the third floor as calmly as Sima Yi.

Those who could go to the third floor were all the children of the big families with deep roots in the county, and they were all the second generation.

Sima Yi and Er Gouzi didn't like the hustle and bustle, so they found a corner to sit down.

Today they had a buffet, and the dishes would be served one by one.

These dishes were exquisitely presented on the plates, and made into various fancy styles, which even made people unable to resist picking up their chopsticks.

However, Er Gouzi came here just to have a big meal and make some money back.

He liked to eat whatever dishes looked more expensive.

On a jade plate, there was a fairy carved from something unknown, which looked ethereal and pitiful.

Er Gouzi was merciless, and with one chopstick, he forked off the fairy's head.

Because this dish looked like the white fairy was the most expensive.

He threw the fairy's head into his mouth, and it was crunchy!

Many second-generation people around, seeing this scene, cast contemptuous eyes.

Everyone moved away at the same time, trying to stay away from Er Gouzi.

They still couldn't figure out why Sima Yi brought such a bumpkin here?

Only Sima Yi remained calm, pulling off the fairy's arm and throwing it into his mouth to chew it.

"How does it taste?"

"It seems to taste like white radish."

Er Gouzi answered truthfully, feeling that this dish tasted ordinary except for its good looks.

"Well, it's carved with white radish."

Sima Yi chewed and introduced the dishes on the table to Er Gouzi.

"Generally, things that look beautiful on this plate are not for eating."

Er Gouzi realized that he had eaten in the wrong place, and felt a burning sensation on his face.

Fortunately, he was very tanned, so no one could see his blushing face.

"Look at this small dish, this is the tip of the sparrow's tongue.

You can only take the sparrows that have just learned to fly, cut off their tongue tips and stir-fry them.

This small dish requires thousands of sparrows to be killed."

"Look at this dish, it looks like just a very ordinary cabbage leaf.

In fact, it takes several chickens and several hours to stew the flavor of chicken into the cabbage.

So this dish looks like cabbage, but if you close your eyes and taste it carefully, it tastes like chicken."

Sima Yi probably saw what Er Gouzi was thinking, so he introduced him to some very expensive and costly dishes.

"What about the chicken after making this dish?" Er Gouzi was still more concerned about the chicken used in cooking.

"The freshness of the chicken has been boiled out and is useless. It was probably thrown away as a waste." Sima Yi didn't know what was going on in the kitchen.

"Look at this dish again. A live donkey is tied to a tree, and hot oil is poured on the donkey's buttocks to scald the meat. Then the cooked meat is sliced ​​from the live donkey's buttocks and poured with seasonings."

"And this duck's feet, sprinkle the seasonings on the iron plate, drive the live duck onto the iron plate, and light a fire underneath..."

"This vermicelli soup is actually shark's fin..."

"This is Buddha Jumps Over the Wall..."

"Soup with yellow croaker..."

Sima Yi introduced the dishes one by one, and Er Gouzi ate them in big mouthfuls, secretly calculating in his mind how much money he had eaten back.

But personal ability is limited after all. He couldn't eat anymore, and those expensive dishes were still served one by one.

He couldn't finish it, he couldn't finish it at all!

This was the first time in his life that he found that his stomach was so disappointing.

Before he had no food to eat, he felt that he could eat a cow in one meal.

Today, there are so many delicious foods in front of him. He feels that he can’t eat more after just a few bites.

Er Gouzi has loosened his belt several times, but he can’t fit in.

“Take your time to eat. I’ll go to the bathroom first.”

Er Gouzi held up his pants with one hand and stroked his belly with the other, walking slowly along a corridor, sometimes burping.

He was really too full, so he had to walk around to digest the food, and then go back to eat.

Those who have seen a lot can tell from his appearance that he is a countryman who has never seen the world and is too full.

So everyone he met along the way avoided him.

Er Gouzi walked around like this and accidentally walked to the back kitchen.

The kitchen area is quite large, with several large rooms, some for storing food, some for slaughtering, and some for washing vegetables...

"Hey! Who are you?"

"Why are you here?"

"Get out?"

The servants working in the kitchen saw him dressed like a farmer and thought he had sneaked in from outside to steal food.

Without any courtesy, they shouted and chased him away.

If he walked slower, they would have hit him directly.

Even after he walked a long way, he was still cursing behind him.

Er Gouzi had an idea in his mind, and wanted to take revenge on these people who looked down on others.

Immediately, he walked to a deserted place, took out an invisibility talisman and pasted it on his body, and his figure disappeared.

Er Gouzi, with the invisibility talisman on his body, came to the kitchen again in a swagger, and no one could see him now.

In a large kitchen, thousands of chickens and ducks were killed, and a group of cooks were plucking their feathers.

Er Gouzi avoided the sight of the cook and put all the killed chickens into the gourd.

A cook could only rub her eyes desperately. She saw a pile of chicken just now, but it disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Er Gouzi walked to the side of a stove, and through the lid of the pot, he found that a large pot of chicken soup was stewing inside.

Taking advantage of the opportunity when a cook was not paying attention, he fished out all the chickens inside, picked up a broken shoe and a dead mouse and threw them in.

In another kitchen, there were many casseroles, and inside were the Buddha Jumps Over the Wall that he had just eaten.

He did not hold back, stole all the ingredients inside, and then replaced them with some chicken intestines and chicken feathers that were cleaned from killing chickens and threw them in.

Er Gouzi suddenly realized that he was too stupid before, and how much he could fit into his stomach.

It was not as fast as stealing directly from the kitchen.

It turns out that stealing is really addictive.

When he was a child, he stole pig food, and when he grew up, he stole human food.

Then, he wandered around the kitchen and stole whatever he saw.

He also sneaked into the warehouse, which was full of various ingredients.

Chickens, ducks, fish, meat, mountain delicacies, and seafood filled a house, and there were even dozens of killed cows and donkeys.

Taking advantage of the fact that no one was around, he didn't hesitate to put them all into the gourd.

There was more than one warehouse in the back kitchen, and Er Gouzi swept through them one by one, taking away everything he could.

He had completely fallen from a petty thief to a big thief.

Anyway, everyone knew that Hongyan Tower and Hong'an Hall in the county town were all the property of the county magistrate.

There was no psychological burden to steal.

When he left the back kitchen, it was already in chaos, with chickens flying and dogs jumping, and a group of servants were looking for the lost ingredients everywhere.

At this time, Er Gouzi had returned to the banquet calmly, and everything that happened in the back kitchen had nothing to do with him.

The food in his stomach was almost digested, but now he felt a little nauseous when he saw the table full of delicious food.

"I'm full, why don't we go."

"Really not eating?"

Sima Yi was still a little confused. He was just trying hard to stuff his stomach, but now he suddenly stopped eating.

"Not eating anymore!"

Sima Yi had been used to eating delicacies from mountains and seas since he was a child, so he didn't want to eat these few bites of food. He immediately left Hongyan Tower with Er Gouzi.

At the same time, on the fifth floor of Hongyan Tower.

Only the county magistrate can come here usually.

Today, the county magistrate received the top ten people in Anchang County here.

Except for the county lieutenant, everyone who should come came.

The dishes on the table of these people were more and richer, and even the big goose that Er Gouzi committed suicide with was placed on the table by them.

"According to the letter sent back by Sima Gang, there are now all the troublemakers outside, and they can't be killed."

"County Master, do you think we should open the warehouse to put some food and provide some relief?"

The county chief was an old man without cultivation, and he asked with some concern at this moment.

"You are just being soft-hearted!"

The county magistrate rejected this proposal without hesitation.

"Giving food to the troublemakers will only encourage them to behave badly."

"Other troublemakers will follow suit and behave badly when they have no food to eat."

"Such bad behavior must not be allowed to grow!"

The county magistrate has been the county magistrate for many years and has rich experience in how to govern the troublemakers. He has a set of ideas.

"These troublemakers can die, and those who stay are the good people who abide by their duties."

As the county magistrate said this, he took a bowl of Buddha Jumps Over the Wall from the casserole, put it in front of his mouth, and spit it out after taking a sip.

This sip made the heads and faces of the people present all covered with soup and saliva, which was also mixed with some chicken manure.

No one expected that the county magistrate's mouth could spray manure, and it was not easy to wipe it with hands in front of the county magistrate, which was somewhat disrespectful to his superiors.

The county magistrate was furious and picked up the casserole and smashed it to the ground.

The casserole was broken, and the ingredients inside were scattered all over the floor. They were not delicacies from land or sea, but chicken feathers, chicken intestines, and chicken manure...