Chapter 725: Reinvent Yourself!

"Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang!"

The sound of gongs and drums were constantly intertwined. On the outside, there was a circle of villagers standing and watching the fun, while inside, there were a few Taoist priests in fancy clothes running in circles.

There are a total of five Taoist priests, and each of them has an animal embroidered on his clothes. If you look into the details, it is actually one of the nine sons of the dragon, such as Taotie and Yaizhen. They wear cloud crowns on their heads and wear wooden clogs on their feet. It's also impressive when you get up.

The one who hit the front was a fat man, holding a mahogany sword and mumbling something. Behind him were people holding rice bowls and some holding portraits of the ancestors. In short, the ceremony was very formal, and the surrounding villagers had an "unclear feeling". "a feeling of.

There was a video circulated before, showing a monk banging wooden fish and reciting sutras at a funeral, but it turned out to be to the tune of "Doraemon", so naturally this team of white-collar workers worked hard to recite sutras in one go. It is the Taoist scripture of the eight genuine scriptures.

They walked down the circle after another, followed by some other rituals. In the end, the leading fat man stabbed the peach wood sword on the talisman paper and waved it. The talisman paper burned automatically. The surrounding villagers cheered loudly. They felt that this Taoist priest was obviously better than before. The Taoist priest who sees nothing is really capable.

At least he can do tricks!

After a lot of twists and turns, the fat man finally shouted with his sword: "Send Mr. He to ride a crane in peace, and be ranked as a god in the heavenly palace!"

The villagers below cheered together, and many even clapped. One of them, a middle-aged man with a fat head and big ears and wearing a suit, nodded with satisfaction. Although hiring this white-collar team is more expensive, But he does have two more tricks. He is not short of money anyway. Since his father is gone, he naturally has to organize the funeral in a glorious way and let the people in the village see that He Ergou can be considered a figure now.

The performance, oh no, after the religious ceremony was over, the banquet was about to start. The host arranged for the fat man and others to sit at the same table as the music team. There were five people on the Taoist side and eight people on the music team. The big round table could accommodate them. Down.

However, unlike the Taoist priests who were all very impressive, the faces of the people in the music team were very ugly. The reason was very simple. Although they were called the music team in the past, in fact they were also contracted to do the religious work.

The traditional funeral process in the rural areas of central Jiangsu is now like this. When someone in the family dies, a music band is invited. In the morning, the people in the music band change into Taoist or monk clothes and start performing rituals in a serious manner. In the afternoon, I started to hold country karaoke concerts. I took a microphone and turned on the stereo and started singing, dancing and even performing in operas.

After all, except for the host and a few close relatives who are very sad about the death of the deceased, most of the guests who come to the banquet are actually just doing errands and related to relatives. Although there is no emotion or much contact, they still have to People come to the venue and pay a share, and they have a meal at noon and a meal at night. We can't say that everyone is stupidly mourning with the host's family. Naturally, they have to have some fun. The music band will satisfy everyone's entertainment. In the afternoon At that time, everyone gathered around the dam, listened to the music and watched the performance. After the performance, it was almost time to have the dinner party.

But now, most of the music team's errands have been robbed by these Taoist priests, and the rituals during the day are the most expensive, and the host will also give a big funeral red envelope.

The fat man who was the leader among the Taoist priests rolled up his sleeves and ate happily. The other Taoist priests originally wanted to show off, but when they saw that the boss was eating so freely, they let go.

Nowadays, the noodles made in rural areas are definitely no worse than those in hotels. Although the price is much cheaper, the food is definitely expensive.

After finishing the meal, the fat man took off his Taoist priest clothes and sat there in a white shirt, blowing in the wind. On this day, it was really hard to wear Taobao-made Taoist robes.

The music band over there was already preparing to set up the venue, and several people were testing microphones, "Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey...". The villagers who had finished their lunch also gathered spontaneously, ready to enjoy the country karaoke. OK to start singing.

"Brother Bayi."

A Taoist priest trotted over, leaned next to the fat man and said, his name is Xiao Lizi, he is from Sichuan, he came to work in Jiangsu Province, and he was stupidly cheated out of his wages. He sat on the roadside crying, and the fat man took him to his side.

"The person in charge of this family said that we have to come over during the first seven and five weeks, and the deposit has been paid."

The little Taoist wisely stuffed the money into the fat man's pocket.

The fat man nodded, indicating that he understood.

"Grandma, I haven't sung for a long time, let's go sing one too."

The fat man squeezed his way through the crowd and entered the music band's infield.

"Come on, Master Dao, can I sing a song too?" the fat man said to the leader of the music team.

"Sure, come on." Although the leader of the music team is very unhappy with these Taoist priests who are robbing their jobs, he is not that ignorant of how to behave. To be honest, people who do idle business are better at doing things, because this industry If you say the wrong thing, you will be beaten up by the master and you will have no place to say anything wrong.

The fat man went to choose the song first, then put the song into the old-fashioned player, then held up the microphone and said:

"Fathers and fellow villagers, Mr. He has gone to the west of Hexi to become a god in the sky. Let's not be too sad, and don't be too sad. Everyone should look at it a little bit. I know in my heart that Mr. He is still grateful for everyone's support today. In the face of mourning, Mr. He will also miss Taoism in heaven, and he will miss his own son, our Boss He."

Music sounded at this time. Although the sound of the large speaker was not very clear, it was definitely enough in this empty place.

The fat man spoke into the microphone and began to sing:

“Find some free time, find some time;

Take your children with you and go home often;

Bring a smile, bring wishes;

Accompany your lover and go home often to visit..."

The people in the music band nearby looked as if they had seen a ghost. Did they ask the dead Mr. He to go home often?

But when they saw Mr. He's son, He Ergou, actually applauded after Fatty finished singing, and even came out to sing with Fatty with another microphone, the people in the music team really breathed a sigh of relief. Fortunately, touch What he arrived was a brainless upstart, otherwise he would really be afraid of being implicated by this stinky fat man.

The concert was noisy until 3:30 in the afternoon. The fat man asked a few people to put on their clothes again and followed the hearse to the crematorium. The rural areas in Jiangsu are more strictly controlled and burials are strictly prohibited. If you are caught, even if you have already been buried. They will also be forced to dig them out and cremate them again.

In the car, other Taoist priests fired their kicks and threw them out, and then shouted words like "The soul is back" and "Have a good journey."

The little Taoist priest next to the fat man suddenly complained, "Brother Bayi, I heard that some places allow burials, saying that they respect their customs."

"Bullshit, when it comes to burial, who among the Han people has attached great importance to burial since ancient times? In the past, when our ancestors died, they were pushed out to the crematorium?" The fat man lit a cigarette and gave one to the Taoist priests around him. , the little Taoist priest also wanted to be glared at by the fat man and retracted his hand.

The fat man blew out a smoke ring and said, "Fuck, if we can still be buried now, we can make money faster. Choose the tomb and style based on Feng Shui. That's the most profitable place. What a pity."

After all, the fat man still cares about money.

The funeral procession stopped under the No. 2 Bridge and drove into the funeral parlor. He Ergou, a dutiful son, was carrying the black and white portrait of his father. The fat man and the staff of the funeral parlor pushed the ice coffin forward.

When they got inside, the people at the funeral home stopped Fatty from interfering, so Fatty took a few steps back, followed by a team of relatives headed by He Ergou.

"I said, Boss He, you are crying." The fat man winked. There were relatives standing behind him. Your father is about to turn into ashes. Why don't you even shed a tear?

"But, but, I can't cry." He Ergou said anxiously.

The fat man sighed, and calmly reached out and pinched He Ergou's butt.

He Ergou was so painful that he burst into tears immediately.

"My dad, why did you leave like this? What do you want my son to do..."

He Ergou cried out, and the relatives behind him immediately joined in the cry, and some rushed over to stop the ice coffin from being pushed into the incineration room. Of course, this was just for show, otherwise the funeral parlor would only have to work The staff just let go and said, "Okay, I won't cremate the body and send it to your home" to see who would want it.

Today's work is completely finished.

The fat man clapped his hands, walked outside, and lit another cigarette. The little Taoist priest walked up to the fat man and said, "Brother Bayi, what are you thinking about?"

"Look, what's floating out of that chimney?" the fat man said, pointing to the chimney.

"Human ashes." The little Taoist replied.

"Shit, that's the ash from the oil sprayed in the incinerator. The old man was just a skeleton when he died. How could he produce so much ash and smoke?"

"Oh, that's how it is."

"Little plum, you are so stupid." the fat man said.

"I'm stupid." The little Taoist admitted.

"Guawazi, do you know what your greatest advantage is?"

"What is it?"

"Knowing that you are stupid and admitting that you are stupid means you are smarter than most people in this world. From now on, you can lead the team. I will teach you everything I should teach you."

"Brother Bayi, are you leaving?" The little Taoist seriously took out his mobile phone and played "Can't Say Goodbye" by Alan Tam.

The fat man put his foot on the little Taoist priest's butt and buttocks, "What a fool, play "God of Gamblers" to the fat man!"

The little Taoist priest immediately searched for the theme song of "God of Gamblers" and played it.

The fat man laughed loudly, and slowly turned around and walked towards the incineration room in the "God of Gamblers" BGM very coquettishly. He stretched out his hand and took out the wad of money he just got today from his pocket.

He threw it into the sky casually, and for a moment, RMB were flying, but they were not ghost coins.

As Fatty walked along, neither the staff at the funeral home nor He Ergou's relatives seemed to see him.

The fat man walked into the incineration room and lay down on the conveyor belt.

"Brother Bayi, can you please stop burning yourself!"

The little Taoist priest slapped the glass and shouted. Immediately, a staff member came over to pull the little Taoist priest away, thinking that the young man had lost his mind.

"Then we have to discuss it with my wife." The fat man shouted back.

"But you are a bachelor..." The little Taoist priest was carried out by the security guard. A little Taoist priest suddenly went crazy in the funeral parlor. This was another supernatural incident in the funeral parlor.

"Then...there's no need to discuss it."

The fat man laughed at himself, then pressed down with his fingers, and several buttons in the distance were automatically pressed.

The incinerator conveyor belt on Fatty's side began to move.

The fat man lying on it stretched out:

"It's time to go back and rebuild..."

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This chapter should be read and appreciated!